I’m a little worried about posting this, but it’s something that I think is important if discombobulated. Moving away from the beaten path isn’t easy sometimes. There are days when I wake up and don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing. I feel like nowadays, we’re told that we can do so much that we feel obliged to do everything. That’s something I feel a lot at college. I live in an environment full of amazing people doing amazing things, and sometimes the pressure to go go go gets to be a lot.
I know that I have moments where I feel completely overwhelmed at everything. When I feel like the only thing I want to do is hide under the covers or run away. It’s incredibly unrealistic of me to think that I can be at every event or do every activity. That’s just not how it works, I need time to slow down and breath.
Right now, the attitude on campus is a pressure keg of anxiety about the future, stress over exams and a kind of last-resort gritting of teeth. I don’t know if my stress level has ever been higher. College is amazing, but sometimes the feelings can be amplified because there isn’t any way to get away from them. Everyone is writing papers and studying while also making sure to attend events about career choices, meet-ups, extra lectures, parties and sports games.
It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately – how much I need to slow down. I can’t remember the last time I just sat down to think about something that wasn’t related to what work I had coming or the next project to think about. Just thinking – away from people, my phone or anything. I also need to think about what’s important. Taking a nap instead of studying isn’t the end of the world. Taking an hour off to hang out with my friends won’t mean that I won’t do well on my courses. Perspective is necessary and needed.
There’s a lot to get through in the next two weeks – finals are coming. I have a ballroom show tomorrow. Then internships and summer jobs, and who knows what else.
Yesterday a mom sent my friend a message that said ‘bare feet in the earth is a good thing’.
That’s what I’m going to do today – stand in the sun, plant my bare feet in the earth, and breath.